Am I Going Crazy!
“Doctor, thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”
“Certainly, Joan. Please, lie down on the couch. Now what’s disturbing you?”
“I keep having this dream. I don’t understand it.”
“Go on.”
“Well it’s kind of fuzzy, but it has something to do with CSI.”
“Interesting. New York? Las Vegas? . . . Miami?”
“No, it’s not like that.”
“Do you think this is connected to that dream last month about David Caruso in the wallaby suit?”
“No, no. I kept getting the impression that CSI was rising. That my CSI was rising.”
“Hmmm. Go on.”
“And the word ‘differential’ keeps flashing through my mind.”
“Equations? Diagnosis? Is this about Dr. House?”
“It’s more like compensating . . . making up for differences . . . something that requires attention. But now that you mention it, I do have the feeling that it’s television related.”
“I see. Let’s take a step back and look for triggers. When did these dreams start?”
“Monday night.”
“Tell me about Monday.”
“It was a pretty typical day. I got the kids off to school and went to work. Oh, on my way home I stopped to have my oil changed.”
“Stop there. What do you remember about the lobby?”
“It was nice. Clean. There was a TV program playing.”
“Go on.”
“Well it was fun to watch. It had a movie review, a clip from The Doctors. Oh, and I got a great tip on how to untangle necklace chains from Rachael Ray.”
“I think I know what is going on. Do you recall hearing the term ‘AutoNetTV’?”
“Yes – there were several segments from AutoNetTV on different car services. I actually learned a lot.”
“Yes, this is all becoming clear. AutoNetTV is a cunningly crafted digital signage television program that combines education on taking care of your vehicles with entertaining segments from CBS, movie reviews and so on. As you can attest, the program can really get into your mind. Tell me, Joan; do you feel motivated?”
“Motivated and empowered. I really see how I can save money by taking care of my car. My auto center even has AutoNetTV videos on their website so I can research anything I want about my car.”
“Yes, Joan, AutoNetTV is very powerful. Fortunately, they use their power for good. Now let me interpret your dream. One of the AutoNetTV educational segments you viewed was on differential service. Your differential compensates for the difference in wheel speed between your inside wheel and your outside wheel in a turn. Your differential requires service on a schedule to keep it running properly.”
“Yes, yes! I remember now!”
“Listen – this is the astonishing part: CSI stands for Customer Satisfaction Index. Your dream is telling you that you are satisfied with your service experience. How your unconscious mind was able to produce that metric fascinates me . . .”
“Doctor, I was a little embarrassed to mention this earlier, but in my dream that handsome service advisor was sitting right next to me.”
“Ah! That is the final proof! Watching AutoNetTV is like having a full-time service advisor in the lobby with the customers at all times. You have nothing to worry about, Joan. You are simply under the influence of AutoNetTV’s beneficial forces, urging you to show care for your family by caring for your car. I pronounce you ‘Cured’!”
“Thank you, Doctor. By the way, when was the last time you had your cooling system serviced?”
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